


Until Then

by Malfoy (Houseofmalfoy)



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Black Family-centric (Harry Potter), First War with Voldemort, Gen, Miscarriage, Narcissa Black Malfoy-centric, The Noble and Most Ancient House of Black, Young Bellatrix Black Lestrange
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-02
Updated: 2020-05-02
Packaged: 2021-03-01 20:35:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,079
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23973109
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Houseofmalfoy/pseuds/Malfoy
Summary: Written for the prompt "Don't do that. Don't shut me out."Bellatrix trying to help Narcissa after she's had a miscarriage.
Relationships: Bellatrix Black Lestrange & Narcissa Black Malfoy
Kudos: 14





	Until Then

**Author's Note:**

> Warnings for a late miscarriage, mentions of child abuse and (taking into account the headcanon that cissa is trans) transphobia.

“Talk to me, Cissy,“ Bellatrix demands, an order that sounds more like she’s begging her little sister to speak than demanding it of her. It’s of no avail either way, because Narcissa only looks away from her and remains every bit as silent as she was before. 

Every bit as unwilling to speak about what happened as she’s been for the past week. 

Narcissa hadn’t been able to look her husband in the eye. Lucius and the Lestrange twins, her dearest friends since she’d been five years old, had all attempted to talk with her, and she’d cut them all off and sent them on their way. Now her sister was here, looking simultaneously angry and desperate as stands in the door opening of Narcissa’s bedroom.

“Why should I?“ She asks, opting to study the intricate patterns of a painting on her bedroom wall instead of looking at Bellatrix. Narcissa’s voice is cold, uncaring as if she’s not waiting to hear her sister’s answer to it. She’s not, not really. 

Why should she bother speaking about what happened to anyone at all when they all know already? 

Why in Salazar’s name should Narcissa talk about it when all her loved ones know that she’s lost her, lost her precious baby girl at twenty-one weeks, and none of them will understand what she feels like regardless? 

She can’t make them understand and she doesn’t have the energy to even attempt it; why should she bother?

“You chased the others off. Who else?“

Bella’s voice is angry now, Narcissa thinks to herself. She does so hate her sister’s rapidly shifting moods. She can’t bring herself to care other than remembering how it frustrates her normally. “Just leave.”

“Cissy-“ “Leave, Bella. Just-- leave me alone.“ “No.“

The moment Narcissa turns to look at her sister she sees her barging into her room, closing the door behind her with a slam that makes Narcissa flinch. The next thing she knows, Bella has sat down on the bed beside her and has wrapped her arms tightly around her little sister.

“No,“ Bella repeats. “Lucius isn’t stupid, he knows his presence only makes you feel more guilty even though that’s a load of crap. My idiot of a husband and his brainless brother lack the spine to go against your wishes; leave you alone when you ask for it? They should be ashamed of themselves.“

Narcissa almost laughs at that. “Just leave,” she whispers instead, though she can’t stop herself from sinking into her sister’s tight embrace.

“Cissy, no,“ Bella insists, her voice soft but urgent. There’s an edge to it when she mutters “I’ve lost one sister already, I’m not going to lose you too. I’m not going to let that happen.“

She doesn’t give Narcissa a chance to tell her to leave again. Bellatrix shakes her head wildly, a contrast to the way her fingers run through her sister’s unwashed hair with a gentle touch of which most people don’t know Bella possesses it at all. 

“You lost her. You lost Ophelia after you thought you didn’t have to worry about that chance anymore; you feel like it’s your fault, like you did something wrong, or Merlin forbid you believe the bullshit mother tries to convince you of- don’t give me that look, I know the cunt that raised us. You don’t have to keep that to yourself, Cissy... Let it out. Scream, hit me, put me under the cruciatus for all I care, just let it go, please. You can’t live like this.“

Narcissa wants to roll her eyes and tell her how ridiculous she was being; wants to chastise her sister for talking that way about their mother even though she knew that Bella had always been right about the horrendous way Druella has always treated her; wants to make it clear she wouldn’t ever think of using that curse that’s grown to be her sister’s favourite. 

She does none of those things when she feels tears on her cheeks before she’s even aware they’ve left her eyes. Narcissa shakes her head but doesn’t know for sure why she does. There’s a lot of things she does these days that she’s not sure what for. It doesn’t feel like it matters.

She can remember so clearly the day she’d found out about the pregnancy, how over-the-moon she and Lucius both had been. There’s clothes and a halfway done nursery that they begun to decorate as soon as they found out she was having a girl, neither of which she has the heart to get rid of now or anywhere in the near future. 

It should’ve gone so differently, Narcissa thinks to herself. She should have been near the end of her second trimester, should have been proudly showing off a growing baby-bump to strangers whose opinions has always mattered too much to Narcissa. 

She shouldn’t be here, like this, grieving a loss she stopped anticipating past the 12 week mark; shouldn’t have had to break the news to friends and family who had been so happy for her and who she’d been so arrogantly showing off to; shouldn’t have had to be told by her own mother that it was hardly a surprise at all, that it should have been expected a ‘woman like her’ should be unable to hold onto a child. 

Bella holds her tighter when Narcissa begins to cry more audibly, whispers sweet-nothings and promises of motherhood that she is so certain will come true for Narcissa. 

Narcissa clings onto her sister, and Bella says nothing of the nails digging into her shoulders despite the pain it must cause. She lets her little sister sob and scream desperately into air and the layered robes Bella’s wearing, lets her cry until she’s out of breath and too exhausted to do anything but mutter how much she hates this, how much she hates herself for this. 

Eventually Bella lets her lay down on the bed and moves next to her, watching her with an oddly satisfactory sense of worry as Narcissa closes her eyes, still holding onto her sister through the occasional quietly shock-like sob still coursing through her body. 

She’s not okay, not yet, and Narcissa isn’t sure when she will be. But for the moment she’s alright enough and tired enough that she doesn’t argue when Bella quietly tells her “you’re going to make an excellent mother one day. Until then, we’re all here for you either way.“

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos and comments are of course always appreciated!


End file.
